Get with the new underground movement: the G-string is dead, long live body shaper bloomers and corsets.
How shameful you mutter, to resurrect these relics from the boondocks of the undies drawer.
The new season’s figure-hugging fashions have put the squeeze on the G; pencil skirts demand a firmer presence down under.
Sure, we appreciate the G’s appeal, particularly in times of darkened bedroom encounters, but you have to admit that in the cold light of boardroom presentations it cuts a bad line.
The new streamline fashions have set a challenge.
I find myself in Libertas Pacific’s central Auckland store, where owner Valeria Burrows hovers over me as I squeeze myself into a selection of support under fashions.
I’m instantly attracted by the Cette range of "magic knickers" recommend by What Not to Wear ‘s Trinny and Susannah.
The multiple grades of weave hold curves instead of spreading them around.
It even promises to stop cellulite showing through pale, flimsy fabrics.
Burrows throws in the clincher: "You’ll drop a dress size and look like a rock from behind."
Anyone who’s seen my ample derriere would know that would be a miracle.
If you are the type to panic in a lift, you’ll get some feeling of what it’s like to wedge your way into a foundation garment.
Burrows gives strict instructions to carefully roll it over each thigh, inching slowly towards the crotch.
I adopt the moves of a Sumo wrestler, grunting at each hoist of the super-stretch fabric.
Just as I lower into Crouching Tiger pose for the final heave, Burrows bursts in.
If you’d got them on within 30 seconds, I’d be worried.
It has to be a struggle or otherwise I recommend dropping a size."
I look like I’m clad in a giant Bandaid – the panty stretches from above my knee to just under the bra line.
Preposterous garment it may be, but it’s snapped me into a shape the G-string could never manage.
Can a corset be just as effective?
The way Katie McGettigan darts around her workroom you’d pick her for a ballet girl.
She has a natty way of swishing her skirt.
"Oh no, I’ve never been on the stage," laughs McGettigan, her neck arching gracefully.
"It’s the corset, it gives you a certain poise."
The revival was confirmed after sightings on Hollywood’s red carpet and fashion runways.
Long after we’ve liberated ourselves from bustles, we can’t seem to resist the urge to be laced-up good and proper.
The corset became acceptable outer wear when Madonna paraded her jutting conical outfit on tour in 1990.
Our latest predilection with the burlesque has seen Dita von Teese squeeze tight for Playboy and Kylie Minogue fasten on a bejewelled corset for her Showgirl tour.
Both pint-size performers claimed a 40cm (16 inch) waist, although Minogue confessed it was "a bit of an exaggeration" after speculation in the British tabloids.
At the Costume Studio on Auckland’s North Shore, McGettigan is pinning a tulle to a dressmaker’s dummy.
She trained at London’s Royal Opera House and her customised corsetry is in demand.
About half wear it as a fashion statement, and the rest wear it to enhance a garment.
McGettigan checks the measurements of a corset destined for a mother-of-three.
For those not blessed with textbook measurements, the fit is all important.
"To be effective, it has to be shaped to the individual figure. You won’t go from a 16 to 12 but you will smooth everything out. The challenge is to fit a person to a level where they feel comfortable and confident."
Desmond Morris, author of the Naked Woman, explains that the corset exaggerates the magic ratio of waist to hips, which for women is 7:10. Morris says this silhouette has sexual appeal on a primal level and when the corset reduces the ratio to 6:10, it becomes super female.
Some are just blessed with perfect measurements. The G-string rose to fame after Elle “the body” Macpherson shamelessly flaunted her Cabaret range of thongs in 1988. If you didn’t own a Jane-Fonda-make-it-burn-butt, you took your jiggly flesh and ran for cover. There was never a call to burn the bloomer, but its reputation was undoubtedly singed.
The G then committed the worst fashion sin; it started riding bare-back over jeans.
From its position as the reigning undergarment, the G fell from grace. There were grumblings about its disappearing back stay and lack of support where it was due. Pretty soon “boy-leg” pants started converging down the thigh, Bendon launched briefs with discrete tummy control and now there’s super-hold Fleexes.
Ann Harray is Smith and Caughey’s Intimates apparel buyer and after eight years sizing up Kiwi figures, she says support underwear has risen up the racks. “The demand for these garments is definitely growing – even the young ones are wearing them, especially for balls and weddings. It’s because these undergarments look modern, they’re lightweight, seamless and far more comfortable.”
Alexander studied corsetry at London School of Fashion, and has been making corsets under the Madcat label since 2002.
The emphasis is on the waist and the bones are set traditionally diagonally to the ribcage, accentuating the feminine curves.
Talk of clamping waists used to rile 70s feminists, so why are we reclaiming, and even celebrating, the corset?
McGettigan says: "We can thank the feminists for giving us the choice to wear one.
Kate Hennebry says her silhouette was completely transformed, and Rita Stone turned to corsets after a continual struggle with posture.
McGettigan’s design was complex; 20 panels and careful padding to round out the bust.
"Clinched and slightly breathless in my bedroom, I have gathered some gal pals to grade my derriere in the ‘magic knickers’.
- Source: New Zealand Herald, May 19, 2006
